Video Transcript: Putting It Together

All right, we're going to in this session, we're going to try to pull it all together.  And hopefully we succeed at that. It's a monumental task that we're going to try  to do. Alright, so pulling it all together. In the first course, we emphasize the non  directive coaching. And the advantages were the client is more actively involved  in his or her own problems and interests. So when you let the client figure things out, he knows more about his own problems and the things that he's really  interested in, rather than me, the coach projecting, the things that mattered to  me, or what I think is important. Two the client often becomes more motivated to work on things, if the solutions were discovered by the client. I mean, if, if, if  someone comes to me, I'm the coach, and they come to me with a problem, and I give them the solution, they're less likely to follow through, you know, maybe at first they believe that this solution that I gave them is the right solution. But then  they go out and try it and the first bump in the road, the first obstacle that they  meet, they'll go, Well, I think the coach is wrong, they're more likely to follow  through with something that they came up with, you know that they have  ownership in the process, the client often takes on more responsibility for both  success and failure. If I give, you know, if I, the coach, give them the solution,  and then they go out and it doesn't work, who do they blame me. But if they're  the ones that figured out what the problem was, and what they're going to do  about it, and then it doesn't work, who they're going to blame themselves. And  then as a coach, my job is to help them figure out another solution that they can  try. And that and over time, they discover that they can actually figure things out. Number four, the client often becomes more motivated to work on things if the  solutions were discovered by them. Generally, when a person thinks that an idea is their own, they're more likely to follow through with that idea. And number five, the client often takes more responsibility for both success and failure, rather  than blaming the coach or others, or the world, or the government or society or  their family or their spouse, or their children, or, you know their boss on And on,  and on. More the more directive. So now we're looking at the more directive  coaching in the second course. So that was the first course when we looked at  the non directive in the second course, we they, we acknowledged that  oftentimes more input is needed from the coach, especially in terms of a skill or  concept learning. So if someone's trying to learn a skill, like writing or leading or  learning an instrument, or learning how to sing a part, or you know, learning how to weld or, you know, whatever it might be a specific skill, then sometimes  directive coaching is more useful. Sometimes, a total coach directed teaching is  needed and is the best option. Most times, however, a semi directed coaching  approach is the best. So sometimes a total, you know, I have the skill, I'm the  coach, and I know this skill, you're learning how to weld and I have to take you  and bring you through all the steps in order for you to succeed. You know, a lot  of our educational systems are like that the teacher, you know, direct every step  of the way. And sometimes that's appropriate, but often, a little bit of both a little 

directing and a little non directing. There are basically three coaching  approaches one directive coaching 100%, I'm going to tell you how it goes. I as  the coach number two non directive coaching. I'm not going to tell you anything,  I'm gonna help you figure it out. And three semi directive coaching, where I'm  helping you figure things out for yourself, but I'm also giving you a little input,  especially with skill based objectives. Well, how do you know which approach to  do when, okay, that's really the proverbial problem. When do I do What?  Directive coaching, non directive coaching, semi directive coaching. Let's look at directive coaching directive coaching is most effective. Number one when there  is a clear link between the client's need and the coaches expertise. So if the  client needs to learn how to play the trumpet, and I, the coach know how to play  the trumpet, that's a great time for directive coaching. I know the notes, I know  what they are, I can teach you the notes, I can teach you the rhythm, I can teach you how to hold your mouth, or if it's the guitar, or if it's welding or learning how  to read or learning how to read in an expressive manner. All these skill based  tasks. Directive coaching might be the most effective directive coaching, when a  client is looking to acquire a specific skill that the coach is proficient at, you  know, he's good at these things, I want to learn how to be like him. Number  three, when the client is willing to follow direction, okay, someone is motivated, I  want to learn what you know what you have the skill that you have, and I'm  motivated to do it. Okay, if the person wants to do it, they want the skill, but  they're not motivated, then all the direction in the world isn't going to help a lot of parents discover that. You know, kids say they want to learn something. And as  you teach them, they don't want to follow through, they don't want to listen to  you. Sometimes they think they know better. You know, when I, when I took  music lessons, I want to learn how to play the piano. And I got I finally got a  music teacher. And the first thing the music teacher wanted to do is to teach me, you know, the notes on the keyboard that this note is over here. And I said, Well, why do I need to know that? I just need to know that that shape on that staff,  there is this note, I don't need to know the name of it. And so anyway, it didn't.  Our tutelage experience with the piano didn't last very long. Because I wanted to learn, but I wasn't willing to be taught. I wasn't willing to follow direction. Non  directive coaching, when is it best to be used? Number one, when it's not  obvious what the needs or the problem is, if your client doesn't really, you know,  my life is a mess. And I don't know why, then how am I going to direct them? I  don't even know what the problem is. So we're going to have to figure that out  together. And a more non directive approach would be the best way to go.  Number two, when the client is not sure what he or she wants changed, or  added to his or her life. Okay. I'm unhappy, but I don't know what I want. I don't  know what I want to change. Okay. So if we don't know, how I how can I be  directive? How can I give any knowledge when we don't even know what the  topic is yet. So I have to do a lot of listening, I have to help the client figure that 

out for themselves. I can't impose what I think the problem is, I may look at them and decide this is what your problem is. But I need to have them figure out what  that is. Non directive coaching when the client is emotionally hurting, but doesn't know why. Again, when there isn't a clear focus, there isn't a clear thing that we  

can work on. We need to go down the non directive path. How about semi  directive coaching? When do you do that? Number one, when a coach is  teaching a class on a particular subject, and then the attendee needs coaching  off from them. So I'm teaching, let's say parenting, I'm teaching this class, I'm  giving you principles about how to do this. And then in the class, someone goes  in, oh, that's what I need. I need to learn how to put these principles into my  parenting experience. And now I sit down in a coaching relationship with this  person, they go, okay, so what principle Do you want to work on? Which one do  you think you struggle with most? And then the person identifies it. And now I  can ask, okay, I've taught you these things. How shall we get those into into your life? And now I ask a bunch of questions, you know, sort of direct in a non  directive way, but it's coming off of a semi directive, I was semi directive, and  giving the teaching in the first place. So often, we can start off in sort of the  teaching mode of teaching these kinds of things, these skills, but then as I help  you apply them to your life, it may become more non directive. Semi directive  coaching. Number two, when a client seeks out the help of a coach because of  a particular area of expertise. I'm seeking you out in this area of expertise, but I  still don't know how to apply it to my life. So um, so as a coach, I'm being a little  directive, giving you a little bit of my expertise. But when it comes to applying it  to your life, I'm being more non directive, because I don't know exactly how  that's going to go, and you don't either. Okay, what all what all of this means for  you the potential coach. Number one, if you want to expand your coaching  potential, then you must add knowledge skills that you can specifically use in the lives of people. So let's say you want to be a coach, one way to go is I'm just a  non directive coach, and I have no expertise in anything, and you come and the  only thing I do is help you figure out what you want to do and how to do it and  how to manage, you know, progress in that particular task. Or, if I want to  expand areas of expertise, I need to take classes in in different areas. So I'm  sort of knowledgeable about many things. So I can at least give a little bit of  information to people. So I can engage in this voice, this more semi directive  form of coaching. Number two, you don't have to be an expert in order to coach  people in a specific knowledge skills. But you need do you do need to know the  basics. So I don't need to be an expert at parenting. But I have to have to know  some basics. So that I can at least inform my clients about the basics of  teaching kids responsibility. But then I engage in more on non directive once we  get into it once we try to apply it to a person's life, but I have to know something  about it. Takes well how do you how do you become, you know, at least  knowledgeable about many different areas. Well take specific coaching 

knowledge skills classes, we have those at Christian leaders, okay, we have a  sort of a coaching parenting class, we have a coaching marriage class, we have a coaching finance class, we have a coaching, time management classes, all  these classes are specifically coaching oriented. So you're going to be learning  about these specific areas. But you're going to be learning about these from the  coaching perspective. Sex we have one on sex as well. Okay. There's also a  church growth series. Okay. So, you know, this is related to coaching, but it's  also related to just, you know, learning more about these subjects, how to apply  these subjects to a church that needs revitalization, or a church that needs to  become more healthy than it is. So I'm gonna give you a list of these, these are  classes that you can take, reversing church decline, church growth, from 50, to  100, church growth from 100 to 200. Part singing, you know, when it comes to  music, guitar, keyboard, Bible study, fellowship, sound and lights, you know, I go to churches all the time and their lighting is horrible. The pastor has shadows  under his eyes, or sometimes the pulpit area is the least lit place in the whole  sanctuary and the fatigue of the the people in the congregation because of that.  Sound is another problem building and grounds, you know, building and grounds is not just maintaining a building, but your building is a communication to your,  your community. What is your building, say? What's on your building? What's in  your parking lot? Sermon basics, testimonies, prayer, gift based church service,  so all these things are related to church. And you can take each one of these  courses and you'll have enough knowledge that you could then coach someone  in these specific areas. Discipleship, leadership. Okay, so a lot of these courses  are sort of already orientated towards coaching, you know, they have those that  coaching element, but some of the courses we have at Christian leaders  Institute really are not coming from the coaching perspective, but they're coming from the do you want to learn something about this subject, concept, and then  you can apply it to coaching. You can take all these principles that we've been  talking about non directive, semi directive and directive, and use the knowledge  that you learned from these classes to coach people in these specific areas. So  we have a lot of mini classes on all kinds of topics, mini classes take three, four  hours to take in one shot. And you will have enough knowledge to maybe coach  somebody in a specific area, we have a mini class on how to be a person of  influence, time management, or a host of others, just go to the website, you'll  see all kinds of things. Or you can adapt any Christian leaders class towards  coaching, any class that you take at all a class is on a particular subject. And  once you've taken a class, you have enough knowledge on that subject to at  least put it once again, into the coaching, sort of scenario, the coaching grid,  where you're trying to give enough knowledge, but not so much, you know, you  want to help help people figure out things for themselves. So if you're really  interested in this coaching thing, and you're moving from not just the non  directive, but towards the semi directive, which often is a really good approach, 

then being knowledgeable on all, at least, the basics, the basic knowledge of a  lot of different subjects will then expand your opportunities to help people  because people will, you know, people have all kinds of needs and problems,  and then you'll be able to respond to those needs and problems. So, you know,  one of the classes that I did is on communication, I think it's an excellent, it's a  three credit class. And it covers, you know, all forms of communication. And  people struggle with communication many struggle struggle with public  speaking, they, they struggle with communicating in relationships, in business  situations in leadership situations. And so this would be a basic class that you  can take to learn how to learn the basics of that management class, I have a  class on, on management, how do you manage people? How do you manage  things? How do you get along with difficult people. So there's all the other  classes really at CLI will better prepare you for this more semi directive,  coaching. So I encourage you to this whole coaching thing really is sort of a, an  attitude, about influencing and helping people in general. In some ways, we live  in a world where people like to tell other people what to do. And I don't think  that's very effective. People resist being told what to do. So if you if you just take all your relationships, the influence that you want to make in the world around  you, whether that's your spouse, or your family, or where you work, or your  church, or your evangelism, whatever it might be, and you just, you just put this  sort of coaching mentality to it. The coaching mentality is, how do I help people  in the most effective way, help them with their problems, help them with their  situation, help them with their desire to grow in a certain area of life. It's not just  the official coaching time, it's any relationship, any connection that you have with anybody. If you just start listening more, if you start seeing where people are  really at, helping people figure out what their real problem is helping people  figure out what they want to do about it. And then subtly, adding a little bit of  information in a specific area that someone then reveals to you. You'll discover  that your influence in the world that you exist in will grow, and you will feel like  God is using you to make a difference in the lives of the people around you. So,  so learn, and then use these coaching principles to make a difference in the  lives of the people around you.