C h a p t e r8

Can These Burned
Stones Live?

God places discouraged fathers and
mothers back on His wall of service

T

he enemies of God's people ridiculed Nehemiah and his workers
as they started to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. The wall had
been broken down for ages and the stones were charred and useless. How did these people think they could do anything with the mess? "Can these burned stones live?” they mocked (Nehemiah 4:2). They did not want to see Jerusalem become secure and safe again, because they wanted to continue to run roughshod over its boundaries.

The devil is throwing similar accusations at God's people today:"How does that Christian think he can function with all the baggage he carries around from that broken relationship he had with his father?” or"You've made too many mistakes, how do you expect to help someone else?”

Perhaps we sincerely tried reaching out to another and the relationship deteriorated so we feel like a failure. Maybe a person helping us (a spiritual father we looked up to) used control and legalism to get his point across. Devastated and hurt, we tell ourselves we will never place ourselves in a position to be hurt again. The devil wants to rob us of hope so he can keep us defeated and discouraged.

Believe God, not the lies of the enemy

We cannot believe the lies of the enemy and expect to live victoriously. If we justify our current negative situation by blaming it on past bad experiences, we will wallow in bitterness and unforgiveness. As spiritual parents, if we feel unable to fulfill the Lord's call on our lives because we have believed the lies of the enemy, we will be spiritually paralyzed. We must believe that, although our own resources are few, we can carry out God's work because we are going to trust in the overruling providence of God. The burned stones were charred and looked useless, but God's people chose not to look at the dismal circumstances. Because they refused to listen to their enemies' discouraging words, they succeeded in rebuilding the wall.

Mephibosheth was a young man who lived the first part of his life believing a lie. He hid out in the town of Lo Debar, believing his life was in great danger. Since his grandfather, Saul, was no longer the king of Israel, he was told it was only a matter of time until David, the new king, found him. He had been told the stories about the new king and how that, for generations, whenever a new king came into power, all family members of the former king were decapitated.

Mephibosheth lived, not only in emotional pain, but physical pain as well. While still a small child, he was crippled when a servant girl dropped him as they were fleeing from the new king advancing toward the palace. He was emotionally and physically scarred, and like the stones of the fallen wall around Jerusalem, he appeared "burned”-- unable to fulfill his destiny.

One dreaded day, the new king's servants arrived in Lo Debar to find the grandson of King Saul. When they brought him to the palace, Mephibosheth fell on his face in terror and prostrated himself before the king. Mephibosheth couldn't believe his ears when he heard the king say, "...Do not fear, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father's sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your grandfather; and you shall eat bread at my table continually” (II Samuel 9:7).

Unknown to Mephibosheth, David had made a covenant with Mephibosheth's father Jonathan years before. They had pledged to take care of each other's families if anything ever happened to them. When Jonathan was killed in battle with his father Saul, David remembered his covenant with his best friend Jonathan. He was committed to keeping his promise!

For years, Mephibosheth had believed a lie. He was convinced that David would kill him, but all the while David was pursuing him and had his best interests at heart. Mephibosheth was esteemed by David and given the honor of sitting at the king's table. Every need Mephibosheth had was completely met.

What if you were "burned or dropped”?

Like Mephibosheth, did you ever feel someone "dropped” you, crippling you for life? I meet so many people with a clear call of God on their lives, who feel they have been burned emotionally or dropped by someone they trusted. Some were burned by a relationship deteriorating after spending a lot of time developing it.In other cases, they were disillusioned when a natural father or a spiritual father disappointed them, so they gave up. They often live in deep disappointment and fear that the Lord will never be able to use them again.

Not too many years ago, Cedric, now leading a thriving church in East Africa, felt burned.He worked side by side with a missionary and planted nearly 400 churches in his native country, looking to this man as a spiritual father. The relationship began to unravel when Cedric started to notice that money was the bottom line for the missionary. The missionary cared little about the souls brought to the Lord through church planting; he was motivated by financial gain. Cedric attempted to untangle himself from the missionary's web of deception and greed, narrowly escaping harm when the missionary sent thugs to burn Cedric's house down. Shell-shocked and grieved, Cedric moved to a neighboring nation and enrolled in a university. While there, he fellowshipped at a church where people reached out in love to him. As he was restored, he again took a step of faith to take up his mantle as a spiritual father. God began to use him as a leader in small group ministry, and he later returned to his native country to plant a church. He was willing to start over because he refused to be intimidated by Satan's discouraging lies. This burned stone was healed! Today, Cedric is serving as a spiritual father to other pastors in his nation.

Drink the cup

Are you a burned stone? Maybe you think you made a mistake from which you never will recover.Maybe you tried reaching out to someone and they ripped you off. Perhaps, like Cedric, a spiritual parent has hurt you, and you feel misunderstood or wrongly accused.

God's Word cautions us from trying to vindicate ourselves when others accuse us falsely. Instead, we should "drink the cup” and the Lord will vindicate us as illustrated in Numbers 5:11-20. In the Old Testament, a man who suspected his wife of adultery brought her to the priest where she was given dirty water to drink from a cup. If she was guilty, she would get sick and diseased and become a curse among her people, but if she was innocent, the Lord would vindicate her. She would be fruitful and bear children. Either way, she had to drink the cup!

God knows our hearts. He knows the truth. It does not help to try to prove our innocence on our own. He has to do it. Our role needs to be one of forgiveness, otherwise we will harbor resentment.

The Bible says there are two types of ministries before the throne of God--the ministry of intercession and the "ministry” of accusation. Jesus intercedes before the Father for us, but the devil accuses us. If Satan uses someone to lie about us, although it is tempting to lash out and try to vindicate ourselves, we should simply "drink the cup,” in a spirit of humility and forgiveness.God is the vindicator.

A former co-laborer in church leadership, who left our church several years ago, recently met with me and one of my colleagues. The Lord had spoken to him and challenged him concerning which of these two ministries he was embracing. To his surprise, he realized he was participating in a "ministry” of accusation against the church.It had crippled him and robbed his joy. The Lord convicted him of his judgmental spirit and he sincerely repented. Today, this precious man of God is one of our personal intercessors. The Lord is so redemptive!

Mercy triumphs over judgment

Spiritual fathers and mothers in the body of Christ must grasp this simple, important truth: We need to forgive others just as we want to be forgiven. We must extend mercy to each other and leave the judgment to God (Luke 6:37). Mercy always triumphs over judgment! (James 2:13). Mercy is giving what is not deserved. It is letting someone off the hook because of love. We must be quick to extend mercy to the struggler.

Satan accuses the one struggling, "Can you, as a burned stone, live?”

Jesus is answering us loudly and clearly."Yes, I will restore you and place you back on My wall for service in My kingdom.”

We cannot look at our natural circumstances and give up. Our God is a God who forgives and restores burned stones.Mercy really illustrates what God is like. Our merciful Lord wants to restore these who have been burned because of sin, bad role models, or by not responding properly to tests the Lord allowed in their lives. He wants us back in fellowship with Him and others.

According to I Peter 2:5, as Christians, we are living stones, being built together into a spiritual house--the body of Christ. And we are built together by the mortar of relationships: "You also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” Every living stone is touching other living stones. We were not created to live the Christian life alone. We are called to be in relationship with one another. When we are burned by others through disappointment, unmet expectations, or spiritual abuse, we can feel like burned stones. Nevertheless, the Lord is redemptive! He takes burned stones, heals them, and places them back on the wall of service for Him.

I know first hand what it feels like. I felt like a burned stone for a period of time I served as a pastor. I nearly quit. I felt misunderstood by those I believed I had given my life for, and I felt unable to do anything about it. Here is how I described what I was going through in my book, House to House:

During the spring of 1992, I was ready to quit. I felt misunderstood, and I was not sure if it was worth all the hassle. I told LaVerne one day, "If I get kicked in the head one more time (figuratively speaking), I don't know if I can get up again.”

As the senior leader of our church, I was frustrated, exhausted and overworked. God had given me a vision to be involved in building the underground church, but in the last few years, we had strayed from that original vision. My immaturity as a leader, lack of training and my own inability to communicate clearly the things that God was showing me led to frustration. In a misguided attempt to please everyone, I was listening to dozens of voices that seemed to be giving conflicting advice and direction. I felt unable to get back on track. I was tired and was encouraged to take a sabbatical.1

It was on that sabbatical that the Lord gave me new direction. I am grateful to the Lord that He gave me the grace to continue and to believe again. Today, I am so fulfilled as the Lord has placed me back on His wall of service for Him. Since that time, the Lord placed spiritual fathers in my life to encourage me. Knowing the incredible value of spiritual fathering has changed my life! It is my life's mission to be obedient to Him to serve others and train others to become spiritual parents. I am so blessed the Lord would not allow me to quit. I am having the time of my life. I love my Savior; I love my wife; I love my family; I love the people I work with; I love what I do; it is great to be alive!

Of all of the people that I meet, those who have experienced dysfunctional parenting (both natural and spiritual) seem to be the most fearful of trying to be spiritual parents themselves because they have been burned. But the Lord is touching deeply those who have been burned, healing them completely and then placing them back on the wall of service for Him.

The Father will restore

I love this modern-day story of restoration of a son to his father. It seems that a young man named Sawat disgraced his family and dishonored his father's name, but observe what happened when he refused to listen to the devil's lies anymore:

Sawat had come to Bangkok to escape the dullness of village life...When he first arrived, he had visited a hotel unlike any he had ever seen. Every room had a window facing into the hallway, and in every room sat a girl...That visit began Sawat's adventure into Bangkok's world of prostitution...Soon he was selling opium to customers and propositioning tourists in the hotels. He even went so low as to actually help buy and sell young girls, some of them only nine and ten years old. It was a nasty business, and he was one of the most important of the young "businessmen.”

Then the bottom dropped out of his world: He hit a string of bad luck...and finally ended up living in a shanty by the city trash pile. Sitting in his little shack, he thought about his family, especially his father, a simple Christian man from a small southern village near the Malaysian border. He remembered his dad's parting words: "I am waiting for you.” He wondered whether his father would still be waiting for him after all that he had done to dishonor the family name...Word of Sawat's life-style had long ago filtered back to the village.

Finally, he devised a plan. "Dear father,” he wrote, "I want to come home, but I don't know if you will receive me after all that I have done. I have sinned greatly, father. Please forgive me. On Saturday night, I will be on the train that goes through our village. If you are still waiting for me, will you tie a piece of cloth on the po tree in front of our house? (Signed) Sawat.”

As the train finally neared the village, he churned with anxiety...Sitting opposite him was a kind stranger who noticed how nervous his fellow passenger had become. Finally, Sawat could stand the pressure no longer. He blurted out his story in a torrent of words. As they entered the village, Sawat said, "Oh sir, I cannot bear to look. Can you watch for me? What if my father will not receive me back?”

Sawat buried his face between his knees. "Do you see it, sir? It's the only house with a po tree.”

"Young man, your father did not hang just one piece of cloth. Look! He has covered the whole tree with cloth!” Sawat could hardly believe his eyes. The branches were laden with tiny white squares. In the front yard his old father jumped up and down, joyously waving a piece of white cloth, then ran in halting steps beside the train. When it stopped at the little station, he threw his arms around his son, embracing him with tears of joy. "I've been waiting for you!” he exclaimed.

Sawat's story poignantly parallels Jesus' parable of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-24. Christ told of another son who threw his life and money away in a whirlwind of wrong choices and fearfully returned home in the hopes that his father would take him back. He too was met with open arms, and was loved and accepted unconditionally.2

The Lord awaits those with open arms when they return to Him. He longs to restore us. His forgiveness and acceptance is always extended. We cannot allow Satan to deceive us with his empty promises and fallacious lies.

How to be restored

Do you know that the Bible says Jesus Christ became a curse for us so that we can be set free from the devil's lies over us? "Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us...For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil” (Galatians 3:13; I John 3:8). We can be free from the devil's lies over our lives because we are free from the curse. We do not have to live in bondage.

We live in a fallen world but we were raised with Christ when we were redeemed, or bought back by the blood Jesus shed on the cross two thousand years ago. Jesus came to give us abundant life and set us free (John 8:32). Step by step, we reclaim what Satan has stolen from us--in our homes, in our workplaces, at school--as believers, we have the privilege of pointing the way home to those who are lost. God has a loving plan of redemption for every believer and seeks to accomplish His plan through ordinary people like us.

1. Faith unlocks the door. If we hide behind a locked door, attempting to bulletproof ourselves from hurts, we harden our hearts. God wants to expose and free us. How? It's simple. John 8:32 says that when you believe in Christ, you "shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Jesus Christ, who is Truth, makes men and women free! We become free from being captives to sin--to our false notions, hurts, mistakes and prejudices that entangle and enslave the soul.Now we fall into the arms of Him whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. We can trust Jesus to restore our lives. As we confess the truth of God's Word, Romans 10:17 says that faith is built. Only then can we begin to experience God's wholeness.

2. Stake your claim. God promised the children of Israel the fertile land of Canaan. It was legally their land because God promised it to them. But they had to receive it by going in, taking it from their enemies, and staking the claim for themselves. The same truth applies to us today. We need to take back the areas of our lives the devil has stolen from us. If the devil has stolen our peace, our joy, our health or our hope; today is our day to claim it back from the enemy! We need to go in and claim back from the devil the specific areas he has stolen from us. When we take Him at His Word, the Lord honors His covenant with us!3

3. Receive prayer from a trusted friend. For help in your restoration process, you may want to humbly seek the counsel of a godly friend or spiritual parent. He or she canassist you on how to obtain God's forgiveness, receive healing in your emotions, and gain the strength to sin no more.4

4. Be patient.The process may not happen overnight. Corrie ten Boom, who experienced life in a Nazi concentration camp, attested to the "ding-dong theory” when it came to finding complete healing. She said that when you ask the Lord to heal and restore you, the devil will try to bring some of the old emotions of hurt and pain back to you again and again. But like the ding-dong of a church bell that rings loud at first and then grows softer and softer until it finally stops ringing, the hurts will grow more faint and distant as you forgive others and claim healing and restoration for your life.

I met a couple in Dallas, Texas, a few years back who desperately wanted to have children. They tried to have a baby for seventeen years and refused to quit believing. The last time I was in Dallas, they were holding their baby boy, after trusting God for seventeen long years. Regardless of your prior experiences, you need to believe again for spiritual children. This means you must allow the Lord to strengthen and season you through the burning process.

5. Keep your branches growing over the wall. God is calling you to be a healthy, functional spiritual parent. Even if you have not had a spiritual parent yourself, the Lord will teach you to be a spiritual parent to the next generation if you keep your eyes on Jesus. Joseph, a man of moral and spiritual strength, was likened to a young fruit tree with its branches going over the well wall (Genesis 49:22). The moisture from the well kept the tree watered and bearing fruit. Your branches will grow abundantly over the wall too if you are constantly watered by the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. You will be sure to bear fruit for Him in the form of many spiritual children when you keep your roots well-watered.

You will be stronger!

Our God is restoring spiritual fathers and mothers to their sons and daughters in these days and gently placing them back on His wall of service. God is calling forth His people in these days who have been burned and broken, and He is healing them and giving them a job to do.

When a metal such as iron is heated in the fire, it is refined and tempered, and it gains great strength. Those who have faced difficulties and allowed God to temper them are refined and ready to be used because they are stronger. For example, couples who are victorious after experiencing marital struggles are just the ones to help other couples who are struggling in their marriage.

You must find your place on the wall. God loves to use burned stones! If you are a burned stone, receive the grace of God today from your heavenly Father tobe made whole through His son Jesus Christ. God wants to bless you, make you strong, and give you a great inheritance of spiritual children, as you will learn in the next chapter.

Notes

1 Larry Kreider, House to House (Ephrata, Pennsylvania: House to House Publications, 1998), p.177.

2 The Sawat story is taken from The Father Heart of God, Floyd McClung, (Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1985), pp.111-114.

3 Larry Kreider, Biblical Foundation # 6, Freedom From the Curse, (Ephrata, Pennsylvania: House to House Publications, 1996), p. 22.

4James 5:16; John 8:11

Last modified: Thursday, August 9, 2018, 1:04 PM