Let's look at another basic counseling skill that will help you effectively minister to youth.  Learning to recognize early warning signs. Along with teachers and parents, you are in a  unique position of influence in the lives of teens. You spend time with them and see them in  different moods on different days. You are also observing their reactions to their peers at  church and other ministry events. It's essential that you learn to recognize early warning signs that something may be wrong in the lives of your students. They may not approach you to  share about what they're going through, but you can observe and figure out if they're facing a crisis. Here are some basic things to watch out for in the lives of your students. Firstly, their  physical appearance, it is natural for teenagers to care about how they look, they are in the  process of developing their identity and usually want to look their best and impress their  peers. Hormonal changes during puberty can affect their physical appearance and create  anxiety. This is to be expected. But there are some changes that could be a sign of emotional  distress in your students lives. Watch for loss of interest in their appearance. This behavior  goes against the normal tendency of teenagers to want to look their best. Notice if your  students are losing or gaining weight. This can be a sign that they're feeling emotionally  unstable. Stress can manifest itself in a variety of health issues. Be on the lookout for  stomach problems, such as a loss of appetite, or pain that might be a symptom of a stomach  ulcer. Another warning sign that a student is dealing with undue emotional distress is feeling  tired all the time. Teenagers are growing, so it's normal that they need more sleep than they  might be getting. But a teenager who wants to spend most of the day asleep may actually be  dealing with depression. On the other extreme, if a teenager tells you that they cannot fall  asleep and feel anxious, this may be an emotional problem too. For example, nightmares  could be a warning sign that a student is continually affected by the memory of a past event.  The physical appearance of our teens is a huge clue as to what is going on in their lives.  Another clue is a teen's emotional responses. The onset of puberty brings a rush of chemically induced emotions. These feelings may not be new, they have probably felt anger, sadness  and joy before. But in this season of adolescence, these feelings may be stronger or mixed up with one another. For example, a teenager may feel joy and sadness at the same time. Joy for  the start of something new and sadness because something has forever changed. They will  feel these emotions more intensely than they have before. While some emotional displays are to be expected. Others should be recognized as warning signs of deeper trouble. Watch for  extreme emotions. Teens are learning to handle their feelings at a different level. But those  who experience high highs quickly followed by very low lows may be dealing with a bigger  issue. Observe to see if they were just having a bad day or if this is becoming a pattern in  their life. Watch also for uncontrolled anger. A teen might have a loud argument with a family  member or friend. But this should never turn into intense anger that leads to physical  violence. A teen who is unable to control their anger is probably reacting to something very  distressing. This lack of control is a sign that the student needs intervention from someone  trained to help. A third sign to watch for in teenagers is apathy towards important decisions.  Some teens can appear to be lazy in their approach to school, church or other activities. Some uncertainty is natural. But when a teenager is apathetic toward an important life decision,  they could be responding emotionally to a crisis. For example, they may feel that the situation is hopeless. So why should they care at all? This apathy is unnatural, and needs to be lovingly addressed as the symptom of a bigger problem. The third area that may show early warning  signs of trouble is when a teen is behaving abnormally. We act based on our beliefs and  priorities. So our actions are a good indicator of what is going on inside. Again, you will need  to know your teens well if you are to discern what actions are normal and what are out of the  ordinary. But in general, there are some things that clearly indicate a problem. Watch for  behaviors that are secretive. If a teen goes to extreme measures to keep their action secret  from friends and family, you can probably be sure it is not a healthy activity. Be careful in how you approach a teenager to talk about this, they may quickly get defensive or shut you out.  You might not be the right person to intervene. But perhaps there is someone else in their life  who is look for signs of impulsive behavior, such as drug and alcohol abuse, sexual activity, or dangerous actions that could cause bodily harm. The teenager doesn't care about the  consequences of these impulsive actions, and is using them to escape from another area of 

their life that is in crisis. A behavioral warning sign that requires immediate intervention is self destructive behavior. At its extreme, this would include thoughts or attempts at suicide. It is  essential that this is dealt with quickly before the teen can harm themselves. This is an area  of extreme crisis that demands professional counseling. Let's look at a few ways to recognize  self destructive behavior. So you know when to step in before it's too late. If students ever  talk of a desire to harm or kill themselves, take the comments seriously. It may be a ploy for  attention. So assess what is really happening. Does it seem like a joke? Or is it real? What  would make them say this? The more specific the plan, the more likely a teen will commit the  act of ending their life. Do not leave a youth alone if they have voiced a suicide plan or  method, call emergency services and get professionals involved. Even if it is more a  statement of desire than a plan, the student should still be counseled. Your goal should be to  discover why they believe suicide is an appropriate solution to escape their crisis. You are now better equipped to recognize early warning signs by observing a teen's physical appearance,  emotional responses, and any abnormal behaviors. Remember, any of these might just be a  phase or a symptom of a bad day. But in general, if they persist longer than a few weeks, this  could be a dangerous pattern. Here are some steps you can take to address the problem. The  first step is to express care and concern for the teenager's well being. They should know that  you are available and want to share in their burdens. You don't see them as a problem to be  fixed, but as a person you care about and you desire to see them lead a healthy and full life.  The second step is to get others involved in a long term solution to the teenager's crisis. This  could be their parents, other youth leaders, or adults in the church. It should be people they  trust and know care about them. If the issues are serious, such as substance abuse or suicidal tendencies, professional counseling will be needed. Refer the teenager and their parents to  someone you can recommend to help. Don't wait until you have a problem like this to think  about what to do. Make a list of Christian counselors that you could reach out to for assistance if needed. Counselors may specialize in different areas. So get to know each counselor's area  of expertise, and how they can uniquely support and care for a teenager. These might be  heavy issues to face, but know that God has placed you in the lives of youth and he will equip  you with what you need to support them. Remember, one of our most powerful tools is  prayer, physical and emotional problems, have spiritual roots. Pray your way through these  situations, and gather other leaders and people to pray for the teen. Even if you don't have  permission to share this specific challenge that youth is dealing with. Anyone can support as  part of their prayer team. God knows the problem and the solution and he can work to bring  healing and wholeness.



Last modified: Wednesday, January 4, 2023, 7:07 AM