Audio Transcript: Choosing Your Companions

Announcer - Are you eager to know your future? You want to know what's going to become  with you in the years ahead? Stay tuned for a way to find out. This is the Back to God Hour, a  program that looks at life in light of the Bible, exploring God's answers to our questions. Our  host is David Feddes. And the topic we'll begin with today is choosing your companion.  

Dr. Feddes - Guess what, I know a way to figure out what's going to happen to you in the  future. Even if I've never met you and don't know much of anything about you, I can tell you a reliable way to predict your own future. Am I a guru with special powers? Am I a fortune teller  with a crystal ball? Do I study horoscopes? No, but I can still tell you how to predict your  future. Here's all you need to do. Look at who your friends are and what they are like. And you can see what's going to become of you. I mean it to know what your future holds. Forget  gurus forget crystals, forget fortune cookies, and horoscopes. And just take a hard look at the  Companions you hang around with. Am I exaggerating the power of the friendship factor? No,  I'm telling you the truth. If you have the right friends, it will make you a better person and  give you a brighter future. If you have the wrong companions, it will ruin your character and  wreck your life. That's not just a theory of mine. It's what God says. The Bible says in Proverbs 13 Verse 20, He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. I  remember talking with a man who was living proof of this. In his younger days, he was an  athlete. He spent a lot of time with buddies who used foul language and laughed at Christian  people and like to drink and use drugs and get girls into bed whenever possible, with friends  like that, who needs enemies. Within a few years, this man was stealing to support his drug  habit. He got a girl pregnant and paid for her to get an abortion killing the only child he ever  fathered. Once when he wasn't sober, he lost one of his legs in an accident. Now instead of  being an athlete, he limps around on an artificial limb. He's proof that a companion of fools  suffers harm. But I'm happy to say he's also proof that He who walks with the wise grows  wise. A number of years ago when his life was in ruins. This man finally realized that  something had to change. So instead of hanging around with his drinking and drugging  friends, he started spending time at Alcoholics Anonymous with people who encourage each  other to stay sober. The AA people helped him to grow wiser and to stay sober. staying sober  is important, of course, but there's more to life than just avoiding alcohol and drugs. This man still felt a hole in his soul. So he went on a spiritual search. He tried crystals. He went to New  Age seminars, he hung around with cult members who talked a lot about spirituality. But that  just made him feel more depressed and empty. Then he met some followers of Jesus. He  started going to church and spending time with Christian people. His heart began to change  before long, he repented of his old ways and put his faith in Jesus. When he spoke to me, he  wept with sorrow about his past, but he also wept with joy over the change Jesus made in his  life, and how his pastor and Christians friends helped him to find a new life. So let me say it  again, if you want to know your future, take a look at your friends. If your friends are truly  wise, your future is bright. But if your friends are fools, your future is bleak. He who walks with the wise grows wise but a companion of fools suffers harm. So if you want to change your  future, then I have just three short words for you. Find new friends. If you want to break free  of an addiction to alcohol, it's not going to happen if you keep hanging around with the same  old drinking buddies, find new friends, people who are committed to staying sober. Such  people are wise and how to deal with addiction and they can help you to become one If you  keep getting into trouble with the law, and you want to clean up your act, it's not going to  happen if you keep hanging around with the same old gang of troublemakers, find new  friends, people who stay out of trouble and work hard and treat other people with love and  respect. If you struggle with doubts and find it hard to trust in God, if you feel far from Jesus,  and you want to get close to him, it's not going to happen if you keep hanging around with  people who laugh at God, or think they're too smart and sophisticated for God. find new  friends, people who love the Lord Jesus and live according to the Bible. Let me just ask, Who  are your friends right now? With whom you spend most of your time? whose ideas do you take seriously? Whom are you eager to please? Whom are you afraid to displease? Are your  companions, wise people who are making you wiser? Or are they fools who are leading you to  harm? Have you been choosing your companions carefully? Or have you been drawn into the 

wrong crowd? Joining the wrong crowd doesn't usually happen all at once you get drawn in a  little at a time. The Bible talks about first walking with the wrong crowd and hanging out a bit, then standing with them and spending more time and then sitting and settling down in their  company. If you want to have a bright future and enjoy God's blessing, you'll avoid that whole  sequence and refuse at every stage to mingle with Bad Company. Psalm one says, Blessed is  the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners or sit  in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates  day and night. In other words, Happiness comes when you avoid bad friendships and instead,  see God as your closest companion and spend your time focused on Him and His will. I'll say  more about choosing your friends in a moment. But first, some music here's Michelle Wagner  with a song based on Psalm 1. David Feddes here again, and we're talking about choosing  your companion. Friends influence the choices we make. I remember going on a school trip  when I was in my early teens, we were scheduled to visit a factory and the museum and some other important places. But our schedule also included a trip to the mall. My parents gave me  a little money to spend and I proceeded to invest that money very carefully. My first purchase  was a squirt gun, because a squirt gun is essential for success in life. And because all of my  friends bought one, my second purchase was an engineers cap, because an engineers cap is  an exceptionally useful and stylish piece of headware. And because all of my friends bought  one, my third purchase was a copy of Mad Magazine because Mad Magazine was an  extraordinary literary journal. And because all of my friends bought one, we all tend to act like our friends, don't we? That's not such a big deal when all it means is buying a squirt gun or a  cap or overpriced athletic shoes with a swoosh or a swirl. But in the big picture, our tendency  to be like our friends is a big deal. It can do us great good, or else it can do us huge harm. He  who walks with the wise grows wise says the Bible but a companion of fools suffers harm.  What is it about friendship that has such a powerful impact on us? Well, the need for  companionship is built into us. God designed each of us for relationships, for a relationship  with Him. And for relationships with other people. God didn't design you to be a loner, you  need to be with others. You need their company, you need their encouragement, you need  companions. The question is, what sort of companions Do you have? If you're a child, are your closest companions, your parents who encourage you to be the best person you can be? Are a crowd of other kids who just want you to do whatever they do. If you're a teenager, you still  have companionship with your parents and spend time with them. And what about  companions your own age? Are your friends, people who study hard and stay out of trouble?  Or they get drunk every weekend? Are they members of a street gang? Or are they  Christians? Do they introduce you to sex and drugs? Or to Bible reading and prayer? If you're  an adult? Do your friends focus on big houses and lavish vacations? Or are they God centered  people with wise priorities? companionship is so important that if you get lonely enough, you  may be tempted to hook up with the first people who show any interest in you. But that's a  mistake. You're better off waiting for the right friend to come along than having a whole crowd of the wrong friends. Proverbs 12 Verse 26 says a righteous man is cautious in friendship, but  the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 18 Verse 24 says, A man of many  companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Don't be  in too big of a hurry to make friends. The only thing worse than having no friends is having  bad friends. Don't be so anxious for companionship that you'll do anything to fit in with the  first people who act friendly to you. Phony friends are easy to find. A true friend is much more rare. As the Bible puts it. Many a man claimed to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who  can find so choose companions cautiously. Find friends who are faithful, faithful to Jesus, and  faithful to other people. And trust yourself only to friends whom you want to be like, because  that's what's likely to happen. Your friends affect you and shape your future. This is true of all  companionship and it's especially true of romantic companionship. If you cultivate romance  with a wise person, you will grow wiser. If you pursue romance with a fool, you will suffer  harm. You may be so eager for a companion of the opposite sex that you'll go with the first  person who shows an interest in you. But it's better to be single and wish you were attached  than to be attached and wish you were single, the Bible says do not be yoked together with  unbelievers. What is a believer have in common with an unbeliever? You may You'd be 

tempted just to go ahead with a relationship. Even if you know it's wrong. You hang on to the  wrong person and tell yourself that you can change him into the right person. But that often  leads to crazy situations. For example, a girl dates a non Christian boy and nags him to go to  

church with her. At last, he agrees, he goes to church to keep her happy. And then after  church, they go to his place and go to bed together. Now, is that girl leading her boyfriend to  Christ? No, if she's teaching anything, she's teaching him hypocrisy. She's also showing that  she'd rather please Him than please got. Romantic companionship becomes even more  important when it reaches the point of marriage, marry a wise person and you'll grow wise,  marry a fool, and you'll suffer harm. I've spoken with a heartbreaking number of people who  learned the ways of God as children, but whose lives have been ruined by marrying the wrong person. Some have fallen completely away from the church and from God, while others have  held on to their faith, but have ended up so at odds with their faithless partner that both have become miserable. Some of these people knew already before the marriage that it was  wrong. In fact, some even prayed and told God that they were going to go ahead with the  marriage in spite of knowing God was against it. They told God they needed this person. And  they asked God to bless the marriage anyway, and not to allow this disobedient marriage to  lead any trouble they couldn't bear. How do you think God answers a prayer like that? Well,  it's the shattered weeping people I speak with are any indication that suggest that you not  count on God to make disobedience a pleasant experience for you? A companion of fools  suffers harm. Nowhere is that more true than when you knowingly decide to marry someone  who's wrong for you. Let's get back to the wider subject of choosing friends in general. Some  of you listening to me may be attending a college or a university. This may be the first time in  your life that you're completely free from your parents, and from the community where you  grew up, you're developing a whole new set of relationships that will have a profound impact  on you. Your books and lectures will have some impact on you. But the biggest impact may  come from people at the university whom you meet and admire and want to be liked. The  biggest changes in your mind and soul are often more caught than taught. If you come from a non Christian background and you haven't accepted Jesus as your Savior and Lord, your  experience at university might change it for the better, you might discover that your new  roommate is a Christian, you might meet a Christian professor, someone might invite you to a group organized by Campus Crusade for Christ or InterVarsity, Christian Fellowship, or some  other Fellowship of Christian students. Christians you meet at university may draw you into a  way of believing and behaving that transforms your life. On the other hand, a university  experience can also have the opposite effect. More than one person has gone off to university thinking he or she was a Christian, only to end up rejecting faith in Jesus. Why? Usually not  because of any evidence or logical proofs, but because of companions. You may be drawn to  professors and to fellow students who seems smart and self assured. When you hear them  talk as though the Bible is only for uneducated simple minded types. You might feel eager to  fit in with these people who sound so knowledgeable. Even if they don't actually prove  anything against Christianity, you catch the virus of unbelief from being too close to them.  Then again, you may catch a deadly case of unbelief, not from friends who seem smart, but  from companions who simply devote themselves to doing whatever feels good, hard drinking  sex crazy crowd can swallow up your beliefs like quicksand. Once you're up to your eyeballs  and sin, you can't really afford to believe that Jesus is alive or that he's coming again to judge  the world. The Bible says do not be misled, Bad company corrupts good morals. Whether  you're on a campus or anywhere else, spend time with the right people with faithful Christian  people do that. And you may come to know the risen Lord Jesus for yourself. In fact, that's the most important part of choosing your friends discovering that Jesus is your friend, and having  a friendship with him that grows stronger and deeper all the time. How important is  companionship? Well, during Jesus time on earth, He didn't just preach great truths. He called  people to follow him and spend time with him to be his companions and his friends. The night  before Jesus was crucified, he told these people, Greater love has no other this, that he lay  down his life for his friends, you are my friend, if you do what I command, I have called you  friends for everything I learned from my father, I have made known to you. Before I say more,  here's Diane. Jesus is the ultimate friend, Jesus lived with his friends, he died for his friends 

and he rose again to give his friends eternal life. Before Jesus returned to heaven, he told his  friends to continue what he had started a fellowship of people who trust in God, who rely on  Jesus as their Savior, who together celebrate the Lord and focus on his truth, who encourage  

each other to obey Jesus commands, and to keep inviting others into this fellowship of Christ.  This fellowship of Jesus friends has lasted for 2000 years now. It's called the church. Getting  involved in the church isn't an option, it's a necessity. If you want to choose the right friends,  then choose to be a friend of Jesus, and choose other people who are friends of Jesus. A  prayer in the Bible says I am a friend to all who fear you, Lord, to all who follow your precepts. If you want to get close to God, then get close to the Friends of God, the people of his church.  The Bible says in Hebrews, Let us draw near to God and immediately adds and let us consider  how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds that does not give up meeting  together, as some are in the habit of doing. But let us encourage one another. Don't  misunderstand. Hanging out with Christian friends doesn't automatically make you a  Christian, the Lord must open your heart to him personally. But where does God most often  prepare hearts to be open to him? In his church, and whom does he use to draw people to  Himself, He uses Christian companions, friends and relatives. Now, being a Christian  broadcaster, I might wish that gospel broadcasting were the main factor in changing people.  But that's not the case. I thank God that he does use broadcasting to transform people, but it  uses person to person relationships even more often. And when God does change someone's  rebroadcasting it often happens not just after one message, but after a person has listened  over a period of time and feels almost like a companion and friend of the speaker who has  been telling them of Christ. companionship, ties to Christian people under the fellowship of  the church. This is vital to companionship with Christ. Now back to where we started. What  does your future hold? The answer depends on your choice of friends, he who walks with the  wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. Why be a companion of fools and  hurt yourself? When you can make friends with the wise? And don't tell me you can't find any  friends like that? In even the most sinful city, in even the rottenness neighborhood, you can  find a church of Jesus on even the most anti Christian campus, in even the grimmest prison.  You can find wise people who have discovered God's wisdom in Jesus Christ. Ask God to help  you find such people. Walk with the wise and grow wise. Let the friendship factor help you  rather than harm you. When you find a faithful church or Bible study, fellowship or prayer  group or a small group of Christians. You Find out how much true friends can help you. The  Bible says the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel. True friends talk  with you about what really matters and they give you good food for thought. If they see you  doing things that are wrong or harmful, they can hold you accountable and point out  problems that you might not have noticed yourself, and they can apply positive peer  pressure. As the Bible puts it, wounds from a friend can be trusted. The right friends love you  enough to tell you the truth even when it hurts. And when you fall down, says the Bible your  friend is there to help you up. Christian companions make each other better, sharper people,  whether it's spouse to spouse or friend, a friend, Scripture says As iron sharpens iron, so one  man sharpens another. In all of this, always remember the friend above all friends, is Jesus  himself. He is truly the friend who sticks closer than a brother. Trust in Jesus. Ask him to live in you by His Holy Spirit. Spend time with Jesus every day. Pray to him. Listen to him every day  by reading the Bible. Count on the Lord to teach you a council you count on Jesus to  encourage you count on Jesus to correct you. Count on Jesus to forgive you and lift you count  on Jesus to sharpen you and make you a useful tool in God's hands. Be Jesus companion, then you will indeed be walking with the wise where you will be walking with wisdom.  

Announcer - You've been listening to the Back to God Hour with David Feddes. Maybe you'd  like to ask about something you've heard in the program or want to know more about  following Jesus. Or perhaps you'd like to have a free printed copy of today's message. Well  please write us at the Back to God Hour box 557755 Chicago, Illinois 60655 asked for the  message called choosing your companions. If you prefer a cassette or CD of the broadcast,  you may have one for $5 The name of the message again is choosing your companions and  the address is the Back to God Hour box 557755 Chicago, Illinois 60655. When you write to 

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