Video Transcript: Real Life Example 2
All right, welcome to session number two. Here, we're going to talk about how a couple is connected playfully. And I have a little fill in the blank there a couple of that blank together, blank together. How would they, and they rhyme. And it relates to playful. Couples that play together stay together. The original phrases, the original phrase, I know that there's, I've heard the couples that pray together stay together. Right? Right. And that naturally tune we talked about the spiritual section. I know at least in the United States, the divorce rate is something like 45% of marriages end in divorce. And, and sadly, the divorce rate among Christians is about the same. Except for those that had the habit of praying and reading the Bible together, then the divorce rate goes to .05%. So I have to present so that so that's really true. A couple that does pray together, stays together. But I think it's also true that a couple that plays together, stays together, Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 Go eat your food with gladness and drink your wine with a joyful heart. For God has already approved what you do. Always be clothed in white and always anoint your head with oil, enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of the meaningless life that God has given you under the sun, all your meaningless days for this is your lot in life and life and your toilsome labor under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do with all your might. For in the realm of the death where you are going there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge, nobody's negativity, but in the middle of it, enjoy life with your wife who you love. So what I want you guys to do is there's there's nine questions that I'd like you to just jot something down so just take a few minutes and just you know, just you know, whatever comes to you don't have to be complete sentences. Quit something so these nine things will come back when they're done all right, we're back. You guys spent maybe 10-15 minutes writing your answers. So the first one is his interests Why don't we compare notes here? Oh, well yes. Yeah, guitar under the cameras I didn't put that yeah, like I just put like a lot of the things that like because I didn't realize there was gonna be a shared interest section so I put a lot of the things that like even we do together so I was just like course I put your first answer being with me interest and I put golf, going to the gym doing like stuff the CLI movies spending time of course with family and then also friends after that baths because you love taking baths and video games and just like games in general I love playing beanbags and board games and game four and all those things but I said I love playing the guitar that's a huge interest of mine. I love being out in nature so like when I get a kayak canoe, camping hiking, I love movies but that's kind of a shared interest on and then in general I love like listening to worship music and stuff that's how I spent a lot of time just putting that on when I'm out so for me. What about Abby's interests. For Abby I did you you like running and walking a lot which I am not like the biggest fan of like I'm like the treadmill part of the gym so I put like an agenda for you but I don't and then I'm just hanging out with friends and then you love going out to eat and I noticed that when I first
got with you like I went out to eat maybe two or three times a year and then like every week go out so I put that out as an interest because I know you love doing that and then you have rally which is a dog training class which Yeah, I just put for me like being with you family and friends. CLI is a huge interest. Everything I do here rally the gym golf board games and movies. Together. Together I wrote I know we love going to the gym we try to go 1-2 times a week so that's a hobby that we spend together the beach is a big interest of ours too movies, I kind of dropped back down to shared interest because we love watching movies. I know we both like singing We both like golf too. So yeah, basically I wrote the same ones.how does the theory of opposites attract? hinder your playing together? Um, I would say not too much. I'm like, I feel like maybe like, I don't know why I'm thinking like, I feel like you do like working out a lot more than I do. And so like, like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like even sometimes like I feel like you'll Want to do maybe like outdoors or golfing more than I would want to? And I'm just going around them. And I'd rather look at play games, like I love games like I use an answer that I kind of piggyback throughout a couple more of my answers down the road. But the answer I said was that Abby, you tend to be more and this was kind of like the precedent when we first got with each other it was you tend to be more a little bit more extroverted than I am, I'm a little bit more introverted. And so where it hinders us sometimes is, there'll be times where it's like, you'll come over to my family in my house, and then you'll want to hang out with my family, but I want to go on a walk with you or do something with you just one on one and then spend time with you. And it's like, oh, no, I want to be with your family. I want to spend time with others. And the fifth one, social messaging different, like I'm more like, if there's other people around, like, I feel like compelled to hang out with everyone, like I have a hard time just excluding myself one person. I mean, obviously do that. Still, it's like, easy for me. But yeah, to kind of be around everybody else, like sometimes that can hinder our play time. Number five, how could the fact that opposites attract help you both explore new things? Yeah, so that's where I put like, I feel like because like, I'm maybe like, being more social, like, I feel like that will get you out of your comfort zone. And like, for me sometimes, like, you know, might make me explore like, various like, one on one activities too, like I would have maybe not gone if I was just being super social. So I think like both helps me be more active. It's exactly what I said, Yeah, Abby tends to be more social, which is like led me to more parties hanging out with friends and stuff. And then I've kind of showed you like, beauty and one on one dates and stuff, like going to the beach and stuff, too and stuff. So you sort of answered number six already. Number seven, why do married? Why do many couples play well together in the dating phase, but not as well, in the married for many years phase? I just said it's easy for people to get used to each other, kind of the idea that something new becomes old and stagnant. So I said, couples like that tended not keep things
new and do anything new, it just kind of it's same old, same old. And I put like, like this really stop making time for each other. Because when you're like first in together, like I feel like a lot of people like overdose on spending time with each other, like, all testing time with each other. Once life kind of sets in and work and children and all these things, they just start getting different interests and making time for only certain things and not each other. You're in the dating phase, you're motivated, enthusiastic, and then you're more willing to do things that you wouldn't otherwise do is just being together. And what we're doing is secondary, but over time, what you're doing becomes primary, like I'm with you all the time or at some value, I felt like being together goes down. Alright, number eight, what kinds of things are you doing now that you think you will do many years down the road as a married couple? Okay, so for me, I feel like this is a really CLI but like, talking and listening repeatedly, like I really, really see us continuing to do that. And again, like I think the importance of reading the Bible and praying together down the road is really important. And then more on activities. I feel like we will play golf, go to the gym, do board games and watch movie and of course spend time with family and friends together down the road. Yeah, I just said, I said read the Bible because we tend to do that every night will video chat or FaceTime. Or then we actually will be living in the same house at the moment, but I think always be reading the Bible together every night. And then same thing with praying every night before we go to bed together. And I did say the gym too, or just in general fitness. All right, any Bible passages that you can think of that relate to this subject? Okay, so I did have like, I don't even know the exact verse for like and I just think is like feature. It's always because I feel like spending time together playing that makes me think of joy. You know, like that's kind of the point of playing is having fun. So be joyful always will continue in our playing together as we're going in this journey of marriage. My answers to huddle counterintuitive, it's kind of like the opposite. But it's the same principle. So the idea of couples that play together and stay together, I thought of it I'm pretty sure it's in Proverbs, that verse where it talks about people who hang around with fools will be comfortable. I feel like that verse really shows the social impact that it has about spending time with people where you adapt to the personality of the people you hang around with. And so that that in a way shows the importance of the opposite where it's time to go will grow, right and not be comfortable for the right. Yeah, even even though it's play time with the right kind of person, right, makes you into who you are. Exactly. So the next section is really, you know, if you did more of it in a group, it asked similar questions, but people would sort of share amongst themselves. And that's kind of interesting thing too, because, you know, you guys share a lot of interests, but there might be another couple that doesn't, and you just get a different flavor. And that becomes interesting thing. And then I think, too what happens in a group is, people hear what others are doing, and they start writing, you know, we could
maybe do that, too, all of a sudden, they have ideas, they could do that together. So what I like to do at the end of sessions is just this little thing on the bottom of page 18, they're praying together. And the reason I put this in here, now, you know, you guys say you're doing devotions, and you know, even when you're not living in the same place, but a lot of couples don't do any devotions. And in fact, that's really intimidating. It's really weird that, that a couple can be very intimate. The most intimate relationship they have, especially when they get married, and yet, if you ask them to sit down and pray together, they'd be very, like, this is too intimate. Which is weird. But if they haven't heard done it before, it's, it's hard. So what I like to do in this material is to just help a couple start doing that. But the words are all written up to read. So it's not like, you know, figure out what to do. So let's do this together. So together, then you would read that together, then the man you would you would read that, you know, thank you, God for Abby, and so on. So just, let's follow this together. Right, so start together. Thank you for bringing us together. I think you go for Abigail for her passion for the things she likes to do. I confess I have not always taken an interest in her interest. I think you've God for Mitchell for his passion and the things he likes to do. I confess that I have not always taken an interest in his interest. Help us Lord to spend time together in playful, fun, enjoyable activities that we can share together. Alright, excellent. I will see you again for the third session.