Video Transcript: Phrase Three

All right, I want to welcome you back to this mini class. On the Serenity Prayer,  we looked at phrase one, where we have to accept the things that we can't  change and then phrase two where we, you know, we take courage, we're  asking that God would give us the courage to do something about the things  that we can actually change. And then phrase three is sort of the big question  that comes up, when you look at these first two, God grant me the serenity to  accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can, and  then here it is phrase three, and the wisdom to know the difference. Okay, how  do you know whether this is something I should accept? Or something that I  should courageously try to change? I mean, that is really the difficulty, right? I  mean, in some ways, we have to realize that our default setting is to not have  the courage to do anything about something that most of us wallow in worry, for,  we end up, you know, complain a lot about the chaos in our lives. And we don't  choose the courageous option to do something about it. There are times where  there's nothing we can do. And, you know, all the courage in the world isn't  going to change this thing. But how do you know that this one is the thing that  you should accept? Or this is the one thing that you should courageously try to  change? How do we know when to accept things as they are and when to  courageously try to change things? Okay, for example, a failing, of failing  marriage. Maybe you're in a failing marriage. I mean, you got married and full of  hopes and dreams, and, you know, through whatever circumstances in your life,  sometimes it's just the hardness of life. I know several people who have lost  children to some sort of accident, one of their children prematurely died, and the strain of that loss has driven a wedge between husband and wife. There, there  are a lot of causes are not just, you know, sell, you know, because partners or  salvation, you know, they just want to do for themselves. Sometimes, it's  circumstances and it's just difficult circumstances. And it's, it's not for us to judge people, because, you know, we haven't walked in their shoes, women  experience of the things that they've experienced. So if, you know, let's say  you're having a failing marriage, is this something you should courageously try  to fix? Or is this something that you should just accept? Now, it seems to me  that we should courageously try to do something about a failing marriage. But  let's say your married partner just walks out the door. And their gone. You pray  you, you know, you try you enlist the help of others, to try to rebound from this  situation. You want to work it out. You want to go to counseling, but your partner  does doesn't want to do I mean did you hold out hope forever. Lewis Smedes  wrote a book love within limits. And he looked at I Corinthians 13. About Love.  The definition of love and the old King James was Love is long suffering. And he made the point that love is long suffering. How long does love, love? Well, a  long, long time, but does that mean forever? I mean, even God's love runs out  eventually. God eventually says, you don't want me you don't want my love.  Fine. You know, in the end, there's, there's a place called hell. So, you know, 

you courageously try to change things, but when you accept it's not easy to  know? Or a wayward son or a wayward daughter who's walked away from the  faith? How do you learn how long do you keep praying? I would say you keep  praying. As long as you have breath. You never give up. Never give up I mean,  regardless of what happens in your life, there are certain things you just never  give up on. Now, maybe it doesn't go, Well, maybe it doesn't seem like there's  any hope. But you never give up. Or a better example might be a terminal  illness. Can God heal? Of course God can heal. Can God perform a miracle?  Yes, God can raise the dead. So there's always a certain amount of hope. But  But at what point? Do you know? Do you accept the things that you cannot  change? My mother 10 years ago, fell down some steps, and she broke her  neck. And you know, at first, we had some hope. But after a couple of days, a  doctor said that it's permanent, and will not. She'll not recover from this. And if  we take her off any machines, she will, she will die. And so we had to ask my  mother what she wanted to do. Does she want to live on the machine does she  want, what does she want? And she accepted the things she couldn't change.  She said, I'm ready to go and she'd blink with her eyes to let us know what she  wanted. But she let us know she's ready to go to heaven to be with Jesus. Now,  those that was, that was an incredibly difficult time. How do you how do you deal with that as a family? Either the dance between hope and acceptance is I don't  have the exact answer for you. I wish I could say, you know, in these cases, you  hang on to hope and in this case you let it go. I mean, I don't know. soured  friendship. You know, you have this friendship. But then somebody says  somebody, somebody didn't, something happened, and all of a sudden this  friendship has soured. And what do you do? Do you move on? Do you say that  all friendships don't work out? Or do you keep working on this? Do you ever give up? I don't know. A career path? You've been trying something and you've been  working on it? And it's just one obstacle after another? Does this mean you  should keep trying? You know, when you know, some people have said, you  know, when there's a closed door, God opens another door, maybe God wants  you to bang down this door? How do you know whether God wants you to bang  this door down? Or whether God wants to open another door for you? It's not  always easy to know. Infertility. Daughter in law, they just they tried for many  years to have children. And when you when you say well, maybe we need to  seek other alternatives. And they, they did and they ended up adopting. And  then mysteriously, miraculously, two years later, they got pregnant themselves.  So these things are not that easy. And often when we're in the middle of chaotic, trying difficult situations, we don't know whether we're supposed to keep going,  or whether we're supposed to accept this thing that we cannot change. And I  would say in the beginning of these things, we just don't know. So we're, maybe  we go bouncing back and forth between these things. But I believe that God  eventually lets you know, when my mother it was really difficult. And we didn't 

know whether we should talk to her and ask her what she wants, or, or what  we're supposed to do. And I remember, a wise person said, because we didn't  know what to do. And the wise person said, you know, and God will let you  know. And if you don't know, then just keep waiting. God will make it clear. And I  have found that too that often when it's a difficult I remember when, you know,  we spent a year in the Philippines when I was in seminary, and then you know,  we had to decide whether we're going back to be missionaries or not. And I just  didn't know. I couldn't figure it out. I mean, it was like 50/50. And it was, I tried  this, I pray and I read the Bible, I talked to people, and it was still 50/50 it was  like God, but eventually, eventually, God let us know what direction we should  go. And I think God helps us understand. Is this something I should fight  courageously do something or is this something that I should accept? As it is,  Lord, give me the wisdom that's part of the prayer. Lord give me the wisdom to  know I don't know. This prayer is basically saying that as a human being you  don't know. And you need God's help. When faced with a closed door, how do  you know if you should seek another door or keep banging on the one in front of you. I guess that's what I've been saying. II Corinthians 12:7-9, So Paul had his  own difficult issue that he faced, in order to keep me from becoming conceited.  He writes, I was given a thorn in my flesh. Now, we're not sure exactly what that  was. I think it was his eyesight or people don't know. A thorn in my flesh, a  messenger of Satan to torment me Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. So, Lord, I'm trying to do something about this. But he God said  to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  So is this thing in front of me something that I should be strong and get over? Or is this a weakness that God can use for His kingdom and his glory? I'm saying  we don't always know. Okay. But I'm also saying that God is through this prayer,  we're really asking God, God, you give me the wisdom, because I don't know.  It's okay that you don't know. That's what this prayer is for. That's what this  prayer is saying. I don't know. I don't know what you want me to do. I'm willing to do whatever it is that you want me to do. But I just don't know what it is. So God, grant me the wisdom. I'm willing to fight. If that's what it is that you want. I'm  willing to fight to the end. But I'm also willing to trust that you have it in your  hands. If I can't do anything about it, then then give me the courage and the  wisdom and the grace to understand where that is going. Alright, so this is  phrase three, we'll come back with phrase four.