Why Is It Important To Be People Smart In Ministry?

Henry Reyenga

Why Is This Course Important?

It helps me. 

It helps you in your bi-vocational or vocational ministry.

To spread the culture of relationship blessing, grace and realized love in the culture of CLI and its graduates and future church leaders. 

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and forever. Amen. 


Why Is This Course Vital For Your Ministry?

1 Corinthians 9:22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 

Robert Bolton has studied people smart issues in his book People Skills, he outlines why we should study this topic. 


Loneliness

"Several reasons have been given for the increased ache of loneliness in modern times. Materialism (finding one's solace in things rather than in people), the mobility of people, uprootedness of families and the bureaucratic structure of organizations-- these are just a few.”

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 226-228). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Lack Of Love

The often-quoted words of the poet T. S. Eliot describe what may be a typical family: 

Two people who know they do not understand each other, Breeding children whom they do not understand And who will never understand them. 

Proximity without intimacy is inevitably destructive. Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 233-236). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Communication Is Crucial! 

Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship. When open, clear, sensitive communication takes place, the relationship is nurtured. When communication is guarded, hostile, or ineffective, the relationship falters. When the communication flow is largely obstructed, the relationship quickly deteriorates and ultimately dies. Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 256-258). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


One Key To Your Ministry Effectiveness

Eighty percent of the people who fail at work do so for one reason: they do not relate well to other people. One's productivity as a supervisor or manager, nurse or secretary, mental health worker or janitor, laborer, attorney, physician, clerk, or minister is greatly enhanced by the ability to communicate well. In fact, it is difficult to think of a single job in which communication is unimportant.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 261-264). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Communication Is Vital To Your Life

Bolton tells the story of Emperor Frederick, the thirteenth-century ruler of the Holy Roman Empire: 

A group of infants were to be isolated from hearing human speech from the moment of birth until they spoke their language. The babies were to be raised by wet nurses who were strictly charged to maintain complete silence when with the babies. All the conditions of the experiment were successfully carried out. The result? Every one of the babies died. The lack of communication is often toxic and can be lethal.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 283-285). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


By God's Grace, You Can Improve

Do not be too overwhelmed!

There is one thing certain about your methods and style of communication: they are primarily learned responses. Your most influential instructors were probably your parents, who in turn learned their approach to communication from their parents. Teachers, scout leaders, friends, and many others added their input.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 290-293). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Here Are The Facts About Our Communication Skills Journeys

Many of us need help!

Many of us, however, were taught to communicate poorly by well-intentioned people who themselves were taught inadequate ways of relating. As far as communication is concerned, many of us are victims of victims.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 296-297). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Here Are The Facts About Our Communication Skills Journeys

Many of us need help!

...the important adults in our lives were modeling certain ways of behaving. Perhaps they rarely disclosed their feelings. Or they may have been sarcastic, used put-downs, or screamed out polluted anger. As children, we learned by the example of the significant others in our lives as well as from their instructions to us.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 308-310). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Here Are The Facts About Our Communication Skills Journeys

Numerous dysfunctional ways of relating that are typically learned by children in our culture are listed by Gerard Egan, a priest-psychologist: 

how to remain superficial, how to build façades, how to play interpersonal games, how to hide from [ourselves] and others, how to downplay risk in human relating, how to manipulate others (or endure being manipulated)  .  .  . how to hurt and punish others, if necessary. 

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 312-316). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Overcoming Walls Is Not Easy

Years of habit have ingrained certain tendencies for so long that it feels unnatural to relate differently. Any "new” approach seems awkward, and people are tempted to abandon their quest. But once they gain increased awareness of how dysfunctional some of their typical responses are, many people become highly motivated to change.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 332-334). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Resistance Factor

One of the key elements in learning communication skills is to discover how to protect oneself adequately while reducing unnecessary defensiveness. 

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (Kindle Locations 367-368). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 


Ministry Benefits

1. You get out of the way of God's work.

2. You become more confident in your calling and effectiveness.

3. You actually do a better work in ministry.

4. Your family and friends enjoy the "new” you.

5. This will help all the other ways you relate to others. 

Last modified: Tuesday, March 16, 2021, 8:33 AM