Reading: Talking Less (Part 2) (Video Slides)

Talking Less (Part 2)

Henry Reyenga

Talk Less, Think More

Lowe, Sandra (2014-05-30). How To Talk Less - The Ultimate Guide To Get What You Want By Talking Lesser (How To Talk Less, How To Talk To Anyone, How To Talk To People, People Styles At Work, People Skills For Business) (Kindle Location 139).  Kindle Edition. 

Talk Less, Think More

We have been blessed with the beautiful gift of language. It is the gift of expression; of freeing emotions, ideas, dreams, and intentions through words. The abuse of this gift however, turns it curse like, leading to misunderstanding and befuddlement. It is an ironic situation that makes talking more a hindrance to communication.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Thinking More

1. Do not blurt out any random thing, even if the situation seems urgent.

Do not answer simply for the sake of answering. Get your facts straight and organized before responding. Do not merely improvise or invent a seemingly suitable answer. People will be more likely to listen when you speak intelligently and factually.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Thinking More

2. Give your honest opinion; do not just mirror someone else's. 

The value of what you say depends on content and personal touch. 

People would not want a simple repetition of ideas. Believe it or not, they would be more interested to hear it from your own perspective. Good speakers have original ideas and convey them well. This quality of uniqueness is what draws people to listen and stay connected with you.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Thinking More

3. Knowledge is about quality, not quantity.

Saying a lot does not directly relate to significance. A few well chosen words are much clearer than a barrage of speech that is riddled with fluff and meaningless words. Keeping to the main point will make what you say more easily and readily understandable to your audience.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Thinking More

4. Read, write, and learn. 

The idea is to enrich yourself so your conversation is enriched as well. Reading and writing these ideas down will help you to better form opinions and ideas. Keeping an open and well tended mind will give you the advantage of being preparedly knowledgeable when the time comes that it is needed.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Thinking More

5. Listen to yourself. 

Everything starts with you. How well you know yourself will reflect in the words and ideas that you put out. Take time to be alone so you could listen to your own thoughts. This makes you more aware of your real ideas and opinions. When the opportunity of sharing comes up, you would be more prepared and confident.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Thinking More

6. Listen to others. Communication is an exchange. 

Just as your opinion holds value, so does others'. The information they share might be something new to you. Listen and gain from this newfound knowledge to enrich your own. This information can then be passed on later to someone else when he or she might find it interesting as well.

The Skill Of Talking Less, Listening More

7. Talking is easy but listening is hard. 

When you keep silent, the direct consequence is that you are more likely able to hear what the other person is saying. Hearing and listening are two very different things. They are worlds apart. Hearing is simply taking in sound. Listening involves concentration, analysis, and understanding. Listening is a vital part of the whole communication process.

The Skill Of Becoming A Good Listener

Be clear about your reasons for listening. Responding is important, that is a fact; but before that can be done, there should first be understanding. This is more aptly pertaining to one's attitude towards communication. It could be sometimes seen as a match between adversaries, with both parties trying to score points. This makes the exchange more superficial. Instead of competing to make an answer, one should focus on really understanding the other's idea first and this understanding would then lead to an appropriate response.

The Skill Of Becoming A Good Listener

2. Use your own silence to observe. Communication is more than a verbal exchange. Body language can change how a person says things. These are subtle cues that could make meaning deeper. It has been said that when your mouth is open, your ears become closed. Keeping silent lets you focus on other things and it lets you absorb more than you normally do when you are actively talking. It is like reading between the lines, only in this case, it is seeing beyond the lines of speech that you hear.

The Skill Of Becoming A Good Listener

3. Let people finish their statements. 

Learn to listen to the totality of a person's thoughts. The complete idea will be clearer when you keep reactions until after the speaker has stopped talking. Interrupting tends to lead the conversation away to other directions, the end result being is that the concept is left incomplete and unfinished and most likely forgotten. On another note, allowing him or her to finish the statement shows how much you respect and value them. It shows that you think what they say is important. This will let them view you as a good listener as opposed to a frequent talker.

The Skill Of Becoming A Good Listener

4. Maintain consistent eye contact. 

Eye contact shows that your concentration and focus is on the speaker, and this would encourage him or her to keep the flow of conversation going. The eyes are the windows of the soul, precisely because they give clues as to how the speaker is feeling about what is being said. Staring at the person however, would be highly uncomfortable. Learn to tell the difference and degrees of eye contact.

The Skill Of Becoming A Good Listener

5. Ask questions when appropriate. 

When anything seems unclear to you, clarify but make your timing appropriate. Suddenly interrupting would break the speaker's momentum but for better understanding, asking questions would be justifiable. Listening is all about understanding; assuming is not the same as understanding. Repeat statements to check if you heard right or ask the speaker to expound when you do not clearly understand. It keeps the conversation going while at the same time prevents misunderstanding.

The Bottom Line In Listening

The bottom line is, when you listen to other people, other people will listen to you as well. It is part of the give and take process. If you want to be heard, then give other people the same courtesy. People will be more likely influenced to trust you when you listen well and talk less. Listening will bolster the confidence that people will have in you and would likely increase the respect that they currently have for you.

Talk Less Say More

Talking and saying are synonyms. Superficially, they do mean the same thing. Talking less gives off the impression that when you do talk, it must be important. There are ways of improving the way you speak, so that even if you talk less, you actually say more. 

The Skill Of Saying More

1. Know your audience, what they need, how they understand, and the time limitations involved.

The first thing is to form a connection. Catch their attention and keep it through simple but impact making statements.

The Skill Of Saying More

2. When conveying ideas, use concrete examples that are relatable to others. 

Don't use inside jokes or anecdotes that are too personal. For better understanding, the person must at least have a little connection to what you are saying.

The Skill Of Saying More

3. Strive to sound confident. 

People are more likely to listen to someone who knows what they are taking about. This could be advantageous when trying to convince people towards a certain way or opinion.

The Skill Of Saying More

4. Adjust yourself to your audience's level. 

Using complicated words that would sail over other people's heads is ineffective. Instead, use simple common words that they would grasp easily.

The Skill Of Saying More

5. Keep everything short and concise. 

With the current state of people's attention spans, fewer words would be more effective in getting through than long winded and wordy accounts.

The Skill Of Saying More

6. Practice makes perfect so it would make sense to rehearse conversation techniques and styles once in a while.

The Skill Of Saying More

7. Keep yourself entertaining. 

Most people won't mind it if you talk too much when you are funny or amusing. When what you say makes sense, people will listen and won't think of it as precious time wasted.

Conclusion

Keep your ears open, your mind even more so, and your mouth appropriately open or closed as the situation calls for. That is the secret to effective communication that has lasting and memorable effects on lives.