People Smart Techniques Part 3 

Henry Reyenga


Phone Emotion

Think of yourself as the star of a personal radio drama every time you pick up the phone. If you want to come across as engaging as you are, you must turn your smiles into sound, your nods into noise, and all your gestures into something your listener can hear. You must replace your gestures with talk. Then punch up the whole act 30 percent!

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 233). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Use Their Name On The Phone

People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to keep their attention. Your caller's name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person. Saying someone's name repeatedly when face-to-face sounds pandering. But because there is physical distance between you on the phone--sometimes you're a continent apart--you can spray your conversation with it.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 235). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Oh Wow...It's You! 

Don't answer the phone with an "I'm just sooo happy all the time" attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. You make your caller feel as though your giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 239). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Salute The Spouse

Whenever you are calling someone's home, always identify and greet the person who answers. Whenever you call someone's office more than once or twice, make friends with the secretary. Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone is close enough to sway the VIP's opinion of you.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 243). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Are You Available?

Whenever you place a call, always--not occasionally, not frequently--always ask about your timing. Make it a habit. Make it a rule. Make it a self-punishable crime if the first words out of your mouth don't concern the convenience of your timing: "Hi, Joe, is this a good time to talk?" "Hello, Susan. Have you got a minute?" "Hi, Carl, did I catch you good or did I catch you bad?" "Sam, do you have a second for me to tell you...”

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 246). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Constantly Changing Outgoing Message 

If you want to be perceived as conscientious and reliable, leave a short, professional, and friendly greeting as your outgoing message. No music. No jokes. No inspirational messages. No boasts, bells, or whistles. And here's the secret: change it every day. Your message doesn't have to be flawless. A little cough or stammer gives a lovely unpretentious reality to your message.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 251). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Leaving A Message

To make sure listeners won't switch stations during the radio commercial, the broadcaster throws out a mini-mystery: "And right after the commercial we'll be back with the winning ticket . . . It could be yours . . . Stay tuned!" Whenever you leave a voice mail message for anyone, try to include a cliff-hanger: "Hi, Harry, this is Andrew. I have the answer to that question you asked me last week." Or "Hi Diane, this is Betsy. I have some big news about that project we were discussing." Now Harry and Diane have a reason to call Andrew and Betsy back.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 253). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Phone Sensitivity

When you hear a phone in the background, stop speaking--in midsentence, if necessary--and say "I hear your other line," (or your dog barking, your baby crying, your spouse calling you). Ask whether she has to attend to it. Whether she does or not, she'll know you're a top communicator for asking.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 258). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Relationship Follow Up

This good intention seldom happens without herculean effort. Politicians, however, make a science out of keeping up the contact. After the party, they sit at their desks and, like a game of solitaire, lay out the business cards of the people they've met. Using "The Business Card Dossier" technique described later in this section, they decide how, when, and if to deal with each. Does this person require a phone call? Should that one receive a handwritten note? Shall I E-mail or call the other one? Use the Six-Point Party Checklist--the Who? When? Why? Where? What? and How? of a party--as your general game plan.


Munching Or Mingling

Politicians want to be eyeball to eyeball and belly to belly with their constituents. Like any big winner well versed in the science of proxemics and spatial relationships, they know any object except their belt buckle has the effect of a brick wall between two people. Therefore they never hold food or drink at a party. Come to munch or come to mingle. But do not expect to do both. Like a good politician, chow down before you come.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 271). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Do Not Profile Connections

When given this unfamiliar and uncomfortable assignment, the participants assume everyone will make a beeline for the most attractive people. It never happens. Something mystical occurs when people take the time to really look at each other. Everyone discovers a distinctive beauty in one or two other people that is very personal, very special, and speaks uniquely to the seeker.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 275). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Be The Chooser, Not The Choosee 

The lifelong friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere, he or she will be. Make every party a rehearsal for the big event. Do not stand around waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. You make it happen by exploring every face in the room. No more "ships passing in the night." Capture whatever or whomever you want in your life.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 276). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Come-Hither Hands 

Be a human magnet, not a human repellent. When standing at a gathering, arrange your body in an open position--especially your arms and hands. People instinctively gravitate toward open palms and wrists seductively arranged in the "come hither" position. They shy away from knuckles in the "get lost or I'll punch you" position. Use your wrists and palms to say "I have nothing to hide,”

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 280). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


The Business Card Dossier 

Right after you've talked to someone at a party, take out your pen. On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation: his favorite restaurant, sport, movie, whom she admires, where she grew up, a high school honor; or maybe a joke he told. In your next communication, toss off a reference to the favorite restaurant, sport, movie, drink, hometown, high school honor. Or reprieve the laugh over the great joke.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 286). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


See No Bloopers, Hear No Bloopers 

Cool communicators allow their friends, associates, acquaintances, and loved ones the pleasurable myth of being above commonplace bloopers and embarrassing biological functions. They simply don't notice their comrades' minor spills, slips, fumbles, and faux pas. They obviously ignore raspberries and all other signs of human frailty in their fellow mortals. Big winners never gape at another's gaffes.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 298). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Gatherings Are For Pattering

There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even the toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The first of these is parties. Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 313). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Dinner's For Dining

The most guarded safe haven respected by big winners is the dining table. Breaking bread together is a time when they bring up no unpleasant matters. While eating, they know it's OK to brainstorm and discuss the positive side of the business: their dreams, their desires, their designs. They can free associate and come up with new ideas. But no tough business.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 315). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Chance Encounters Are For Chitchat 

If you're selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of your mistaken meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your swan song with Big Winner.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 318). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Lead The Listeners

No matter how prominent the big cat behind the podium is, crouched inside is a little scaredy-cat who is anxious about the crowd's acceptance. Big winners recognize you're a fellow big winner when they see you leading their listeners in a positive reaction. Be the first to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with (or want favors from).

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 334). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 

Last modified: Monday, August 6, 2018, 12:59 PM