Jonathan and David: Best Friends Forever
1 Samuel 14-23

David Feddes


Common confusion
 about friendship

  • Close friendship is for women, not men.
  • Showing feelings is wimpy, not manly.
  • Friendship is mainly for sharing fun times.
  • Parents, not friends, have positive impact.
  • Family matters; friendship doesn't matter.
  • Your spouse must be your best friend.
  • Intense friendship must be homosexual.
  • Friendship has little to do with God.


Jonathan's Faith and Courage

Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the Lord will work for us, for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few." And his armor-bearer said to him, "Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul."

Then Jonathan said, "Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. If they say to us, 'Wait until we come to you,' then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. But if they say, 'Come up to us,' then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us."

So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, "Look, Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves." And the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor-bearer and said, "Come up to us, and we will show you a thing." And Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Come up after me, for the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel." Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him... And that first strike, which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made, killed about twenty men... And there was a panic in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. The garrison and even the raiders trembled, the earth quaked, and it became a very great panic.

Then Saul and all the people who were with him rallied and went into the battle. And behold, every Philistine's sword was against his fellow, and there was very great confusion. Now the Hebrews who had been with the Philistines ... also turned to be with the Israelites... Likewise, when all the men of Israel who had hidden themselves in the hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were fleeing, they too followed hard after them in the battle. So the Lord saved Israel that day. (1 Samuel 14:6-23)


David's Faith and Courage

David said to Goliath, "You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head.... that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hand." (1 Samuel 17:45-47)


Souls Knit Together

As soon as David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul... Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. (1 Samuel 18:1-4)


Defending a Friend

And Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants, that they should kill David. But Jonathan, Saul's son, delighted much in David. And Jonathan told David, "Saul my father seeks to kill you. Therefore be on your guard in the morning. Stay in a secret place and hide yourself. And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak to my father about you. And if I learn anything I will tell you."

And Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, "Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his deeds have brought good to you. For he took his life in his hand and he struck down the Philistine, and the Lord worked a great salvation for all Israel. You saw it, and rejoiced. Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?" And Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan. (1 Samuel 19:1-6)


Covenant of Friendship

David said to Jonathan, "Therefore deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought your servant into a covenant of the Lord with you. But if there is guilt in me, kill me yourself, for why should you bring me to your father?" And Jonathan said, "Far be it from you! If I knew that it was determined by my father that harm should come to you, would I not tell you?" (1 Samuel 20:8-9)

Jonathan said, "May the Lord be with you, as he has been with my father. If I am still alive, show me the steadfast love of the Lord, that I may not die; and do not cut off your steadfast love from my house forever, when the Lord cuts off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth." And Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the Lord take vengeance on David's enemies." And Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul. (1 Samuel 20:14-17)


Abusive Father

Saul exploded in anger at Jonathan: "You son of a slut! Shame on you and on the mother who birthed you!" ... Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan. (20:30,33)


Painful Parting

In the morning Jonathan went out into the field to the appointment with David, and with him a little boy. And he said to his boy, "Run and find the arrows that I shoot." As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. And when the boy came to the place of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the boy and said, "Is not the arrow beyond you?" And Jonathan called after the boy, "Hurry! Be quick! Do not stay!" So Jonathan's boy gathered up the arrows and came to his master. But the boy knew nothing. Only Jonathan and David knew the matter. And Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy and said to him, "Go and carry them to the city." And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, 'The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.'" And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city. (1 Samuel 20:35-42)


Strengthened in God

David saw that Saul had come out to seek his life. David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh. And Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God. And he said to him, "Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this." And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home. (1 Samuel 23:15-18)


Lament for a Friend

"How the mighty have fallen in battle!
Jonathan lies slain on your heights.

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;

you were very dear to me.

Your love for me was wonderful,

more wonderful than that of women.

How the mighty have fallen!

The weapons of war have perished!"

(2 Samuel 1:25-27)


Jonathan's Son Treated Like Royalty

Jonathan had a son who was crippled in his feet. He was five years old when the news about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel, and his nurse took him up and fled, and as she fled in her haste, he fell and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth...

David said to him, "Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always." ... So Mephibosheth ate at David's table, like one of the king's sons. (2 Samuel 4:4; 9:7, 11)


Common confusion
 about friendship

  • Close friendship is for women, not men.
  • Showing feelings is wimpy, not manly.
  • Friendship is mainly for sharing fun times.
  • Parents, not friends, have positive impact.
  • Family matters; friendship doesn't matter.
  • Your spouse must be your best friend.
  • Intense friendship must be homosexual.
  • Friendship has little to do with God.


Facts about friendship

  • Friendship is for men, not just women.
  • Brave warriors show strong feelings.
  • Friends often deal with serious things.
  • Friends can bring out the best in you.
  • Friendship matters, not just family.
  • You need friends besides your spouse.
  • Intense friendship isn't always sexual.
  • God is central in the best friendships.


Noble Jonathan

  • Brave: outnumbered but unafraid
  • Strong: wins victories for his people
  • Wise: understands people and events
  • Protective: defends friend, pursues peace
  • Faithful: loyal to father and friend
  • Encouraging: strengthens friend in God
  • Generous: gives all he has to his friend
  • Content: accepts and advances God's plan


Healthy friendship

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)


Knit together in love

The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. (1 Samuel 18:18)

My goal is that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Colossians 2:2-3)


God-centered covenant

David: "You have brought your servant into a covenant of the Lord with you." (20:8)

Jonathan: "May the Lord be with you... show me the steadfast love of the Lord ... and do not cut off your steadfast love from my house forever..." And Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David. (20:13-16)

Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, 'The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.'" (20:42)

Jonathan went to David and strengthened his hand in God... And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. (23:16, 18)


The Lord's friendship

The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. (Psalm 25:14)

"My command is this: Love each other as I have commanded you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants... Instead I have called you friends." (John 15:12-15)


Self-giving, steadfast love

The Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Exodus 34:6)

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself. (Philippians 2:5-7)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God... God is love. (1 John 4:7)


Last modified: Tuesday, March 26, 2024, 5:27 PM