Video Transcript: The Powerful Phrases for Positive People (Edited Transcript:

As we embark on this study focused on the importance of being people-smart in ministry, I want to honor one of my mentors, Rich DeVos. He is one of the founding leaders of the Christian Leaders Institute and has been guiding me since the early 1990s. I've had the privilege of interacting with him on numerous occasions, and each time, I've been struck by his people skills—his ability to bless others through his intelligence and love for people. This is true whether he's talking to a prominent leader or someone operating an elevator. Rich embodies the unconditional love of Christ, showing no favoritism.

Rich is also the author of a book called "Ten Powerful Phrases for Positive People." Over the next two sessions, we'll delve into ten phrases from this book—five in each session. These ideas are shaped by Rich DeVos, a man whom God has used to impact the world positively.

The first phrase Rich highlights, which he believes can revolutionize your ministry and personal interactions, is simply: "I'm wrong." Now, admitting you're wrong is challenging, as it requires genuine humility. Just as it was difficult for Adam and Eve to confess to God after eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3:8-10), it's often tough for us to utter the words "I'm wrong," particularly to those we care most about.

Admitting you're wrong is about more than just saying the words. It requires a heartfelt acknowledgment, something that often calls for a profound internal change. This is because admitting our errors encourages others and sets an example for them. Moreover, it serves as an opportunity for growth and learning, which is vital for anyone, but particularly for those in leadership positions.

Sadly, some people grow up in environments where admitting fault is discouraged. This mindset can carry into adulthood and even into ministry, hindering personal growth and team dynamics. Leaders, more than anyone, need to be able to say "I'm wrong." Such an admission not only opens doors for corrective action and collaborative solutions but also indicates a level of maturity and strength.

In my three decades of ministry, I have had several turning points, many of which occurred when I admitted to my team or congregation that I was wrong about something. Rich DeVos himself reflected on moments when he failed to seek the opinions of his employees. The fact is, saying "I'm wrong" is a sign of maturity. It is liberating and reveals that we are strong enough to be humble.

 

People value humility. No one appreciates a know-it-all. When contemplating Christian leadership, it's essential to recognize that we can be wrong. And that's alright. Acknowledging our mistakes not only brings healing but also initiates the healing process.

Just as a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar might deny, defend, or rationalize, we often defend our positions rather than admitting our errors. Such denial and rationalization are counterproductive. Personal growth comes when we prioritize mending relationships over defending our viewpoints.

So what does God envision for us? What is noble? What is true? We should focus on these questions, and be willing to admit when we're wrong. Saying, "I'm wrong," actually shows strength. Errors are inevitable, and denying them only leads to arrogance and conflict. We aren't perfect, nor should we strive for perfectionism in everything we do. Learn to laugh at your mistakes. While your ego may get you so far, it's your integrity and humility that will ultimately lead to success.

I've had the privilege of working with Rich DeVos at Christian Leaders Institute for decades. Rich has exemplified the ability to say, "I might be wrong," despite his extensive experience in wealth, leadership, and philanthropy. This transparency in leadership is invaluable.

Being able to say, "I'm wrong," is not just wise, it's also emotionally intelligent. The phrase can dissolve tension, move negotiations forward, and even convert foes into allies. Admitting you're wrong might seem risky, but all meaningful things in life come with some risk.

Another key phrase Rich DeVos emphasizes is, "I'm sorry." An apology must be genuine, not just a technical admission of being wrong. A sincere apology can resolve many issues, particularly when someone takes offense. Saying "I'm wrong" and "I'm sorry" are mutually reinforcing and offer healing power in your apologies.

Defending a position, using words to obscure the truth, and evading responsibility can lead to a toxic environment. Apologies, however, sustain relationships and show empathy for others. An apology is not just about admitting wrongdoing; it's also about positively impacting the person you've wronged.

So, when you offend someone, say, "I'm wrong, and I'm sorry for what I did," and specify what you're wrong and sorry about. Apologizing maintains relationships and helps us confront our past mistakes. As a parent, I've realized the importance of acknowledging my past errors to my children.

 

In taking this class, I realized that admitting I'm wrong is not sufficient. I also learned the importance of saying "I'm sorry," specifying what I was wrong about, and expressing what I'm sorry for. For instance, I had a meaningful conversation with a child. At the end of our discussion, the child emphasized how much it meant to them that I both acknowledged my error and apologized. It's not just about admitting you're wrong; it's also about saying you're sorry.

Apologizing requires the ability to see a situation from another person's perspective, which entails taking an interest in people, even those who may differ significantly from us. I've been described as a "people person," which essentially means that I strive to understand people and see things from their angle. Genuine apologies and empathy cannot be offered without understanding others and their circumstances.

In this course on "People Smart for Ministry," love for people is essential. Remember, according to biblical accounts, God created humans on the sixth day, as the crown of creation. Saying "I'm sorry" is an honorable act and a key part of being "people smart."

Rich DeVos talks about another empowering phrase: "You can do it." At a recent college banquet, a student asked me the most important thing a young person should know. I told her, "Develop a 'You can do it' philosophy. Whatever you aspire to achieve, you have the capability." Her surprised reaction indicated that maybe no one had ever told her this.

Being a "You can do it" person resonates with people. The three A's, as DeVos mentions, are Action, Attitude, and Atmosphere. Your actions are rooted in a positive attitude, which is nurtured in the right atmosphere. Negative or critical surroundings can derail even the best of intentions.

For example, if you're called to plant a church, you need to maintain a positive attitude amidst challenges and choose your atmosphere carefully. Surrounding yourself with negative or divisive individuals can impede your mission.

As parents, we need to foster a positive atmosphere where our children feel they can achieve anything they set their minds to. Instilling a "can-do" attitude is crucial for their future success and happiness. Negativity and complaining have no place in such an environment.

Many of you are called to ministry and are taking this training at Christian Leaders Institute because you believe in your calling. I affirm that belief; you can achieve what God has called you to do.

Another powerful phrase is "I believe in you," which is even more impactful than "You can do it." It's crucial in all relationships and can change lives by counteracting self-doubt and negativity. Our children, especially, need to hear us say that we believe in them.

When it came to my own children's report cards, my wife and I never berated them for low grades. Instead, we discussed potential reasons for the decline and strategies for improvement, thereby demonstrating our belief in their capabilities.

Pastors and leaders with an "I believe in you" attitude inspire their congregations to take steps and dream dreams they never thought possible. Monetary donations to causes and organizations, like the Christian Leaders Institute, also serve as powerful endorsements that say, "We believe in you."

But let me tell you, when our graduates and students contribute, it holds significant meaning for me. What do I do? I go through the list of names of those who donate to the Christian Leaders Institute. It's not because I personally know all of you—we have so many students that it's impossible to know everyone—but I read each name. As I read, I hear you telling me, "Henry, I believe in what you're doing with online ministry training." So when you give, please know that I'm grateful to you, and it sends a powerful message of belief and support.

Leadership isn't just about directing others; it's about inspiring belief. The ability to create an atmosphere where people believe in themselves and in a shared vision is a critical leadership skill. This underscores the importance of positivity and the use of uplifting language. We need leaders who can articulate their beliefs and inspire others to join them in their endeavors.

Belief, by the way, translates into action—into trying and doing. Until we put our beliefs to the test by trying, we'll never know what's achievable. Most of the things I've succeeded in are things I first believed in and committed to trying.

Another powerful phrase, as Rich DeVos discusses, is "I'm proud of you." This isn't just a childhood longing—it's a lifelong desire for recognition and validation from people we respect. Now, in Christian circles, there's often hesitation about saying we're proud of someone. The concern is that it could lead to arrogance. But Scripture offers guidance. Pride that leads to an arrogant heart is to be avoided, but it's okay to find joy and a sense of accomplishment in Christ-centered work.

Let me be clear: when someone says they're proud of you, it can be immensely encouraging. The Book of Philippians advises us to "take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you" (Philippians 4). So saying "I'm proud of you" can be a blessing. It encourages hard work and is especially uplifting for those who don't usually receive accolades or rewards.

Are we good at recognizing the achievements of others? Do we celebrate the good that people do in their communities, families, and Christian leadership roles? Recognition is not just about the high achievers. It's doubly important for parents, teachers, and employers to acknowledge those who struggle to find something to be proud of.

I've spent years as a pastor capturing moments with a camera, now easily done with smartphones. I share these photos to validate and uplift people, steering their lives in a positive direction.

In summary, the essence of being people-smart in ministry is to be an encourager. It's about respecting everyone, regardless of their job, as a human being made in the image of God. When someone does a job well, it’s only fitting to say, "I'm proud of you."

As we explore these powerful phrases, I encourage you to note them down and consider how they can be applied in your life. If they aren't currently applicable, ask God to help you grow in your ability to uplift and love the people He has placed in your life.